Walking the Walk

In high school there was term that got thrown around a lot. A poser is someone who pretends to be someone they are not in order to stand out, fit in, or generally make themselves look cooler. If you thought this behavior was limited to high schools then you were probably very disappointed when you started college. Even in a "professional" office environment these people exist. Right now they are existing about as hard as you can possibly exist, which is to say that you'll never be rid of them.

So if a résumé is a place where you can talk up your best qualities and experience while omitting any unnecessary negativity you can imagine that some people like to talk as if they are a lot more qualified than they really are. These people can end up getting jobs that they shouldn't because people don't bother to look into their claims. We all like to make people think we are better than we really are, but when it comes to getting a job boasting too much can cause serious trouble.When you obtain a design position and it is revealed that you don't know what CMYK is there is going to be some backpedaling. Often the braggarts end up getting jobs that don't really require that much expertise anyway, or the employer simply doesn't care and just picked the best looking chore boy. Other times someone unqualified gets put in charge of something important.

One story that was kinda shocking was the story of how a woman in charge of government information got her job with a bogus degree. Laura L. Callahan got a job as the Department of Homeland Security's deputy chief information officer in 2003. She was very proud of her PHD and insisted on being called Doctor and was generally a haughty ass about it by doing things like firing people for not understanding every word of her colorful vocabulary.

Well one employee had his suspicions when she mentioned that she got her degree at Hamilton University. Not the school in New York that produces Vice Presidents and Secretaries of State; that would be Hamilton College. Hamilton University is a church that believes that all education is equal and sells you a degree if you can pass an open book exam. Also they will happily backdate your fake degree for you. So yeah, there's that. She resigned after the investigation. Did I mention that before that she was the Senior IT manager at the White House and was involved in an incident where valuable information was lost due to "a bug?"

While it's nice to talk up you abilities and whatnot, it's important to shop for shoes that you are going to grow into. If the position you are seeking requires a little more than you have done in the past, but you feel like you can learn on the job without becoming a liability, then sure go for it. Just don't act like you are qualified when you aren't even close. To quote some goofy cartoon surfer: "don't write a check your tush can't cash."

Here's some more outlandish résumé charlatans.